Priorities of a Father

I have tried to search all over what the definition of a father is with great difficulty. I have come across many people who assume that by virtue of them reproducing children, they automatically become fathers. There are many who have produced children but have failed to father them. In a way they participated in the production of the off spring but totally and dismally failed to sustain or provide those children with the much needed cover, emotional and psycho-social necessities. The society is full of children who were brought to earth because of the involvement of a male figure but because he refused to take responsibility for the upbringing of the child, a father-less mentality is created and an orphan spirit engulfs the present generation. People who have never experienced the touch and impact of a father will themselves have this as a weakness when it comes time to become a father too. You can only reproduce or replicate what you have. It is not an automatic process that fatherhood will just happen. Failure to know your priorities as a father strips you of the title leaving you as a male.

- Nurturing and Mentoring – a father is one person that children look up to for values. This therefore means as a father you are a mentor to your children. They listen to your counsel more than any other person out there. There is an element of trusting your words as genuine at all times. Children never take anything you say as malicious. You have to be careful what you say and what you hold closely as important values. This is what your children will tend to follow. As a father, you lead by example and the children follow.

- Leadership and vision – A father is a leader of his home. The mother and children follow the leadership of the father at all times. A father is supposed to cast the vision for the family. Where will the family be in twenty years. If the father can not articulate such a question, he will not be able to direct the affairs of the family in that direction. Chances are that what he fails to see, his family will not attain

- Resource mobilization – A father must be resourceful. Whenever there are needs in the family, a father can not relegate those or delegate to the mother. Yes, a mother can come in and help the father but the responsibility is with the father of the house. All the physiological needs that a family has are tp be met by the resourcefulness of a father. Fathers are supposed to be creative so as to find means and ways to make money lawfully and legally.

- Security of the family – When there is an intruder in the house, guess who is supposed to be in the fore-front? The father of course. He has to secure the family. They must feel that because he is around their safety level increases. A father provides physical, spiritual, emotional, social and financial security to his family. There needs to be the assurance that a father is there and involved.

- Daddy as the handyman – What happens when the tap breaks down? How about the car? Daddy is supposed to make a plan to get it sorted. As a father you are the handyman of the house. In places where you have no time to do it, just make sure it is done anyway. Call in a specialist. It is not a sign of weakness.

- Psycho-Social and emotional support – The happiness in the home comes when a father is involved in creating it. When the mother and children get a fair share of the support emotionally and psychologically, then the home becomes a place of joy and happiness. It means the father has to create time for all this even in his busy schedule and commitments.